A Teenager Looms on the Horizon

My oldest son, Sean, is almost 10. Well, OK, he'll be 10 at the end of November, but it feels really soon to me. He's a great kid. He has lots of friends, he does well in school, he loves to read and play basketball and baseball and Playstation. Don't get me wrong - he's not perfect. He gets on his little brother's case ALL THE TIME to the point of driving me and my husband BONKERS! But this post is to tell you about how I can actually see glimpses of the teenager inside him that will be here shortly. Sometimes it's just the way he looks. He's definitely not just a little boy anymore and when I look at him I see hints of the mature face he'll have someday. He talks all the time about the day that he'll be taller than me (not that that would be an especially great feat since I'm only 5'4") and that day will probably happen in the next 2-3 years.

But another way I can see that approaching teenager version of my beloved son is in his behavior. Every once in a while he'll throw out some little comment or attitude or something and I think "No, not yet!" An example: We're at the boardwalk/arcade place at the beach last week and, once again, Sean is giving his brother a hard time. My husband, Carlos, breaks out into a full blown lecture. You have to understand how funny I find this lecturing because one thing both my husband and his brother have always complained about their father was that he would lecture them about everything. He would just go on and on and on. Now here's my husband doing the exact same thing. And he did go on and on to Sean for far longer than the topic warranted - even I thought so. Now, like I said, he's a good kid and he sat there with his dad for the whole thing, but you had to see his face. I could tell that he was totally zoning and not really listening to a word and I couldn't help but think that I was going to be seeing a lot of this lecturing vs zoning thing over the next several years.

After the lecture it was about time for us to leave. Sean wanted us all to go for a little walk on the boardwalk before we left, but we really had to leave in like 5 minutes because of the parking meter and we were there with other people. Carlos was about to tell him no, but I said OK before he could since I felt bad about the lecturing. I told him that we could walk just to a sign a bit down the way and then we had to come back. Sean and I start off, but Sean won't walk with me. He walks like 2 steps behind me and it's really annoying. I remember the time he would want to hold my hand when we walked together. Or the way he would run ahead and then turn around with this big grin as I called playfully "Come back!" and he would run back and crash into me as hard as he could. I'm thinking those days are over and it makes me sad.

One time Sean said something to me that ripped out my heart. He was playing a game on our computer in the front room and I was watching something on TV in the living room. Sean got some kind of error message or whatever that he didn't know what to do with and he called for me to come help him. Well, I didn't hear him at first and, of course, he wouldn't get up to come get me - he just kept calling until I heard him. So, I finally hear him and come see what he needs me for. After I help him, he says something like "Sorry to inconvenience you." But he didn't say it with sarcasm, he said it like he really meant it. Like whatever he needed me for wasn't as important to me as whatever stupid thing I was watching on TV. I had to make him stop playing for a bit so I could tell him how much I loved him and how I always want to help him, etc. I probably went a little overboard, but I didn't want him to have doubts about me being there for him.

I'm trying really hard to cherish the rare times he still sits on my lap or when he tells me he loves me or wants to give me a kiss. All of these things used to happen so repetitively and with such regularity when he was little. So, those of you who still have the little ones, appreciate it while you got it because it changes all too soon.